This past WW week (last Wednesday, 8/18 through yesterday, 8/25) was decidedly NOT the best eating/tracking week since I’ve been on WW. Patrick was working a lot of night shifts and I slacked off and ordered food in, but the biggest trauma of the week was Friday, when we went to Bourbonnais, IL, to visit his parents.
The day started out lovely, as any day off should — Honey Nut Cheerios with fresh blueberries! Yum. We figured we would drive down to his parents in the morning, grab lunch there and then we were going to cook out for dinner. What I did not plan for in this lovely schedule of eating was the nearly 2.5 hour drive to Kankakee thanks to half a mile of road construction on I-57, an hour-long detour past MY parents’ house and then chit-chat time that prevented me from getting food. By the time we had dropped the puggies off at Casa de Brown, and then proceeded on to lunch, it was nearly 2:00 p.m. Which is 2 hours after I normally eat lunch, and nearly 6 hours past when I had last eaten at breakfast. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a crabby bitch when I get hungry — well that turns into Hulk-like anger and hostility directed at those within a 500 foot radius of me if my blood sugars drop below a certain point, which they did back when we were in the car. By the time we got to Jaenicke’s Drive-In, Patrick’s beloved childhood food stand, I was ready to move through the long line like the Kool-Aid Man to get to the food faster. EVERYTHING they had looked and sounded amazing — breaded tenderloin sandwich, cheese dogs, cheese fries, hot pretzels, sauce buns, Green River, root beer floats….the list goes on and on.
(Note on picture — that’s me, when I don’t eat for many, many hours!) After spending about 25 minutes waiting for everyone in line ahead of us to get off their dead asses and decide what they wanted to eat, it was finally our turn and we ran to the window, practically elbowing each other in the ribs intending to do bodily harm so that we could be the first to order. I was famished at this point, and about to eat my own arm, so I immediately ordered two cheese-dogs, and cheese fries and the largest diet Coke known to man (hey, at least I didn’t have regular Coke!). Patrick ordered the tenderloin sandwich, 2 sauce buns with cheese, cheese fries, and a root beer float. I scarfed down my food the second I had it in front of me, I was so hungry, and against all better judgment (let’s face it, the rational part of my brain was NOT working or even attempting to make a peep at this point) raced back up to the food stand to order another hot dog. Yes, dear readers, that is right–I feel off the wagon on Friday and ate three, yes, three, cheese dogs.
All three of those hot dogs, and the fries, were AMAZING going down. However, there really is no saving grace in this situation, other than to say that eating in such a manner at least got me fed (and feeling gross about 20 minutes later) and prevented a mass casualty situation in a small town that likely doesn’t have a level 1 trauma center.
Normally when I indulge in a craving and have something that I shouldn’t eat, or should eat only in moderation, there is a voice in my head asking if that’s what I really want to do, if it is worth it to use my Points on this and if I truly want to proceed. I did not have that at the hot dog stand, which worried me at first. Until I realized that twenty minutes after this eating event, and it was an event, I physically felt gross, bloated and in need of a good, long nap (and possibly a stomach pumping). As I thought back on that day, I realized that in this instance, perhaps the lack of the voice cautioning me against eating in such a way was okay, as I still have the visceral memory of what it felt like after I ate like a hog before slaughter. It is the memory of that feeling that right now is keeping me in check, because I do NOT want to feel that way again.
This situation also highlighted for me that this is an ongoing, evolving process to change habits that I have had for a lifetime that cannot be modified overnight. Whereas before, falling off the wagon like this incident at the hot dog stand would have resulted in me going on a binge for the next week, eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, this time, I realized pretty damn quickly that I had made a mistake, I already KNEW that I didn’t feel good about the mistake, and I resolved to be better about my eating. That evening, while we were having a little barbecue out back, I had one hamburger, loaded up on corn and veggies, and limited my share of the macaroni salad (though it was VERY good). I did have dessert, but it was a small Blizzard from Dairy Queen and I found I couldn’t even finish it.
Now, all that being said, come Wednesday Weigh-In Day, I was TERRIFIED of what would be on the scale when I got on….in my mind’s eye, I was imagining that 15 pounds had been gained back. Surprisingly, even after the debacle that was the hot dog stand, I was DOWN half a pound! I gave a silent prayer to whatever God was looking down on me and helped make that happen and turned the page on that week.
Lessons Learned: Multiple — have a snack in the car, avoid I-57, do not go to Jaenicki’s, three cheese-dogs will not end well, it is only one day, and I can do this. Final Score: Kelly, 1; Hot Dog Stand, 0. Take that!